— LaLa G.
For those of us that have social media accounts, it is common to find words, phrases, or names of celebrities as trending topics. These trending topics normally follow a hashtag (#). One day, while on my social media account, I saw #NoRandoms as a trending topic.
Curiosity getting the best of me, I clicked on the hashtag only to open a page with a medley of women, of various ages and races swearing off dating men who they have deemed as a “random”.
What is a random? A random is defined as any man/woman that you know that you will not marry but are using to fill a void. Others describe a random as “anyone that will take your focus away from Christ.” This sounded reasonable at first because no one should be used to fill a void, nor should they be allowed to take your focus away from Christ. However, after much thought I began to wonder if this label is a fair one.
Webster’s dictionary defines the word random as being without a plan, purpose or an objective. In dating you will meet many types of people. I have met men who were well educated, financially stable, homeowners, loved their mama’s, and thought they knew Jesus, but in fact were not saved at all. Is this man a random?
I have also dated men who have a high school diploma, no job, lives in his mama’s basement, are saved and fire-baptized. Is this man a random? I have also been in a position where I did not have my life together physically, fiscally or spiritually. Would I have been categorized as a random?
Personally, I shy away from placing negative labels on people because truthfully, we are all works in progress. Labeling someone as a “random” belittles their Godly expression on this earth, their life experiences, and their journey. In the end labels allow the name caller to temporarily feel superior to their “little random”.
Life has a funny way of suddenly changing its course and material possessions can be lost in an instant. We must remember to be careful to not place labels on people because haughty eyes (a proud look) towards another human being is one of the seven things that even God finds detestable (Proverbs 6:16). If “the one” showed up how would you know?
I would suggest knowing what you DO want in order to identify “the one” when he/she arrives. This will lessen your chances of being with someone without a plan, purpose and an objective if you yourself date with a plan, purpose and an objective. As singles, it is important that our focus and the verbalization of our desires line up with what you WANT in our lives (Habakkuk 2:2), and less emphasis on what we do not want in our lives. Instead of saying “No Randoms” say what you do desire; be patient, for God will bring “the one” to you. You will have what you say…
“Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted him” ~ Mark 11:23