— Shanique Francis
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. La la la la la la! No, it’s not Christmas, Spring is here! It’s time to pack away our jackets and boots and break out the cute tanktops and flats.
Along with the warm breeze and the blooming flowers, there are also blooming relationships all around. This jolly season is the time for weddings, engagements, and baby showers.
So singles, get ready to be asked, “When is the big day?” Or “Where’s the boo?” Or “When are you finally gonna have a baby?” It’s barely spring, and I have been asked these questions too many times to count already. Plus, they are causing me to go “Ex-Digging”: going through my phone and trying to find an ‘ex’ that can quench my loneliness a bit.
It was hard, but I stopped myself and decided to go with the only one who can fully understand what I was going through: God. I prayed and while telling God about how I felt, my subconscious began to wander off into a deeper issue that I had no idea was a problem for me: Regret.
I am a proud “Church baby”: I grew up, down, and around the church. I am sure many church babies can attest to the pressure that comes along with becoming involved with the opposite sex; it’s a touchy topic.
So instead of relationships, I would say I have had a few “relations”. A “relation” is when you have a crush, it grows into having feelings then it fizzles before anything really becomes official. Am I right “Church babies?”
This is what I like to call the “Church Baby Syndrome”, Because of the uncertainty; it is not clear to young Christian singles what they are allowed to do or not do in a relationship. You begin to have questions like: Is it ok to kiss, hug, or even hold hands? If you do any of these, your mind is going like, “Yep, I’m going to hell”.
Maybe I lost my chance of getting my happily ever after, and I missed the chance with my prince charming. Then I went into dwelling on my “shoulda, woulda and coulda”. I resented myself.
Then I thought about Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”. This brought me to the conclusion that maybe my “relations” did not work out because they would compromise my purpose in God.
It also could be that for this stage in my life and for what I need to accomplish in my Christian walk, it is essential that I am single.
So maybe I don’t have Denzel on my arm and two perfect kids, but I have the best happy ending I could ever have: Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior; my best friend.
Don’t get it twisted, this realization is NOT easy to achieve, but if I don’t wrap my head around it, I’ll make my best friend into a liar and we all know that is impossible. He told us in Mathew 6:33, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”.
He also said in Mathew 28:20, “Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.” With all that confirmation, what else is there to complain about? So again, what is the cure for loneliness? “Church babies syndrome”? “Ex-Digging”? Regret? His love. His word. His promises. Thank you, Jesus!