— LaLa G.
I am very fortunate to have had a father who was active in my life. As a child I was his shadow and went everywhere with him.
He taught me how to ride a bike, bought me my first pet, carried me on his shoulders, took me to the movies, and showed me how to strategize against an opponent in board games and a host of other things.
They say -whomever “they” are – that your father sets the standard for what you expect from a relationship with a man. For me that is somewhat true. I must say in some ways I would look at the bad behavior displayed by my dates and think to myself “my father would never treat me like this.” As soon as I had this thought, the date was dismissed from my presence.
Some of us do not have positive experiences with our father’s, however, it is good for our souls to honor them ( Exodus 20:12 ) and accentuate the positive! Here are some do’s and don’ts that I have learned from my father that serve as an atlas for navigating the dating scene!
Do date someone who is a man/woman of their word!
My father was a man of his word and when he said he was going to do X, Y and Z he did it! If my father could not deliver on his promise, he always called ahead of time to apologize, explain what happened and then set a date for him to make up for what he failed to deliver.
Don’t date a man/ woman who repeatedly cancels, postpones, reneges, and provides excuses for not delivering on promises.
This is a HUGE red flag. You should never allow yourself to get used to someone constantly disappointing you. The relationship you are in or embarking on is either important to the other party or it is not. A person who consistently cancels on a date or
reneges on a promise is not someone you want to set a wedding date or exchange vows with. Will they show up? Will they mean what they say?
Do choose someone you can be yourself around.
As my dad always said “tell the truth, shame the devil!” I have witnessed the power of authenticity while dating. Let people see who you are so that you can see who they are. Some fear that they will be rejected once they reveal who they really are. Rejection in this case is good because you will be one step closer to finding that person that will be a blessing to you and vice versa!
Don’t choose someone who is not on your side!
Later in life I learned that my father promised my mother that he would pay for my college education if I wanted to go to college. A keeper of his word that he was, he worked long hours to pay for all four years of my tuition to a private college. After seeing some of my friends work though college or drop out altogether, I realized how much my father had invested in me.
Do choose someone who gives you the advantage.
My dad and I always played board games… that was OUR thing. Although he appeared to be my opponent, he was always on my side. In every game we played he gave me confidence, showed me how to strategize and usually let me win!
It is so important that you team up with someone with whom your combined confidence will enable you to strategize a future where you both can be winners!